


Opposable Thumbs

by trascendenza



Category: Psych
Genre: Character of Color, Epistolary, M/M, Textfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-19
Updated: 2009-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:24:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trascendenza/pseuds/trascendenza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day Shawn learned how to text, much to everyone's chagrin. <em>Don't make me disable your pound key.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Opposable Thumbs

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, any messages that went over the character limit were broken up into 2-3 separates messages, even though I didn't format it that way for readability purposes.

02:18: youdthinktheydputaspacebaronthisthing

02:19: We'll overlook the fact that it's 2AM -- 2AM, Shawn, this is when people sleep! -- actually, no, we're not going to overlook that. 2AM!

02:25: ohcomeonmaniwantedyoutobemyfirst

02:25: It's the star key, fool.  
02:26: And I was already your first. Fifteen years ago. You hardly lasted a minute.

02:30: slaaaander im certain i lasted at least a minute and a half

02:30: 1 key for punctuation. 0 for capitalization. # for symbols.  
02:30: I have work. I'm going back to sleep now.

02:32: you know if you do that ill just send you a million, maybe a googleplex, of sweet love notes while you sleep.

02:32: I hate you.

*

17:45:

FWD:  
From: lassie (not as awesome as the dog)  
To: acting regent of the santa barbara feudality  
Subject: This is a surprise.

I thought monkeys didn't have opposable thumbs, SPENCER.

*

17:55: Who even told you your phone could text?

17:56: the dinosaur who likes to pretend hes my father. whats next, mammoths laying eggs?

17:57: Did that even make sense in your head?

17:57: does it need to?

17:57: Also, that's not the way you use the word "feudality."

17:58: im the king, gus, im pretty sure I'M the one who gets to decide how a word gets used in MY feudality.

*

18:00: IVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

18:00: Mr. Spencer, may I just ask why?

18:03: HE CONFUSED ME WITH PROMISES TO STOP CALLING AT 2AM. SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO BELIEVE HIM.

18:03: I sympathize completely, sir.

18:04: TELL ME U CAN FIX IT GUS.  
18:05: IF HE WRITES ME ANOTHER 141 LETTER 'POEM' I WILL ACTUALLY KILL HIM.

18:05: I'm afraid the beast's already been unleashed, sir. We'll just have to try and sedate it.

*

18:25: Found: 3 listings for Fossilized Mammoth Egg on eBay.  
18:26: i think this calls for a mammoth scramble. a little oregano and paprika and weve got ourselves a prehistorically delicious meal, am I right, gus?

18:27: Don't even joke about using my fresh-from-the-Farmer's-Market-certified-organic-so-fresh-it-would-make-your-Italian-grandmother-cry oregano on some crusty-ass crime against nature.

18:28: youre absolutely right. i should find some fossilized oregano.

18:28: That's more like it.

*

19:02: txtng hs tght m tht vwls r uslss.

19:03: There's a pain... somewhere in the vicinity of my stomach...  
19:03: Oh, yeah. That's my SOUL.

19:03: m wrk hr s dn.

*

19:06:

FWD: HELP ME GUSTER.  
From: THAT BUM  
To: ME  
Subject: Ode to hair loss.

i saw a bald man old yonder day,  
i pointed &amp; laughed, for his head  
looked like a shiny, hairy egg.  
i like to think we became  
friends that day.

*

20:02: :D :) :-&gt; :-P ^^

20:03: Don't make me disable your pound key.

20:03: D:

*

21:11:

FWD: she thinks i dont realize shes copying and pasting, but i do!  
From: juliet the fair (and also ass-kicky)  
To: gus' #1 fan  
Subject: Not now, Shawn.

I'm busy.

*

22:34: youre my favorite.

22:34: I know, Shawn.

22:34: especially when you do that.

22:35: Put down the damn phone and focus on the task at hand.

22:36: what? one hand on the phone, one down your pants, one to stroke the magic eight ball. i dont see the problem here.

22:37: I don't even want to know where the third arm is supposed to come from.

22:38: ta-da!  
22:39: go ahead, gus, you can say it, once your convulsions of sweet third-arm bliss have subsided.

22:45: You're my favorite, Shawn.

22:45: :D


End file.
